Warning: This post contains rambles, venting and complaining.
So I am going through a rough patch. Kanayla loves school which is great except she is going through separation anxiety again. When she comes home from school she is an extremely clingy, emotional, tantrum throwing mess. It is frustrating me to no end. Xavien and Ivie are also going through various stages of the anxiety due to their ages and Kanayla's influence. I had no clue it was separation anxiety until the dr. pointed it out to me this morning. She is feeling overwhelmed which in turn makes me feel overwhelmed and out of sorts. The only problem is that no one can figure out what Kanayla is feeling overwhelmed about. It definitely isn't school, that is the only time she will voluntarily leave my or Matthew's side right now. I am the type of person that I NEED a more than average amount of sleep or I am not a pleasure to be around and I just don't function very well at all. For around 3 weeks now I am woken up at least twice a night by Kanayla or Xavien. Not good for functioning statis and it is showing. For the past few days my fuse has been incredibly short and I am almost more moody than Kanayla. I have been getting upset with everyone and really I want to stick my head in the sand, scream and then chant 'it has to get better soon!'. None of this is going to solve the overall problem though. How do you handle a 5yr old who suddenly wants to cling to you like a barnacle every hour of the day (I do mean EVERY hour....she wants to sleep with us, for me to play every single thing she is doing, to not cook or even go to the bathroom without her attendance). Then add the 3 and 1 yr old who are demanding some one on one time too. Honestly a baby I can handle, they are small enough that most tasks can be completed with the baby on your hip but I can not carry my forty pound daughter around on my hip! I am only 5 ft tall! She is just under 4 ft now. Kanayla would knock me over flat!
So I am feeling like a bad mom. I love my kids, they know that I love them. I just don't know what to do!
5 comments:
Kristina, I'm sorry you're feeling like this! I know we all have these feelings every so often, me definitely included!
If it's any consolation to you, we've been dealing with parts of this here too with Kylie...and seem as it may, it does pass or at least get better! You're a great mom and just remember that these things are not a reflection of the way you are as a parent. Children have their own personalities and such. It's our job to be able to help them along and learn how to deal with their own weaknesses, but that doesn't mean it's a reflection of you.
Hang in there Kristina! I wish I had a magical solution, but I don't think there is one, unfortunately. Its kinda funny because Shannon just started a new phase that is driving me insane too. She throws a screaming yelling fit every time I try and get her to wash her hands after using the bathroom. I hope things get better for you soon!
I'm so sorry things are rough. I wish I could have more empathy, but it is just impossible for me to relate. But I do understand low times, as I know you've seen come from me. Thank you for being there for me. I'm there for you as much as I can be. If you ever need to talk, call. Leave a message on the phone if I can't answer so I know to call you back! I completely understand just needing to have some girl time and girl sympathy tears! I love you! I'm praying for you, too!
Yuck, doesn't sound like fun at all. Is she tired when she gets home from school (and that's adding to the frustration)? Did something scare her? (Our oldest daughter would start to act in similar ways when she'd seen something in a movie/tv that scared her). (And that included the waking up in the middle of the night--argh, I hate that).
Maybe you can set up a schedule with her where you give her your undivided attention for 10-15 minutes as soon as she gets home, where you do whatever she wants during that period of time. Maybe set the clock so that she knows when it beeps you need to go make dinner or whatever.
Good luck--my heart goes out to you....
That's rough. I've been noticing that a lot of my friends who also happen to have 5 year old girls seem to be having some 2 year old behavior show up lately. Maybe it's just some wierd thing that all 5 year olds go through. For us, Ashelyn's reverted back to temper tantrums. I mean full blown temper tantrums with the works- kicking, screaming, pulling on me, falling to the floor. Insane. Fortunately it's only happened a few times, but still... :P
Have you sat down and talked to her about why she's acting like this and why (in nicer terms) it's driving you absolutely crazy? That's how I realized that Ashelyn was exhausted after coming home from school and she has to have a cool down time. Hopefully it's a very short phase. Call me if you just want to talk! Love you!
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